Gigantic gold lobster brought into Rye Harbor

Exclusive to Wry Reflections

Phil Mataleven

This reporter and Wry Reflections photographer, F. Stop Fitzgerald, both happened to be at Rye Harbor when the trawler Wicked Wench brought its latest catch into the harbor, a spectacularly large gold lobster. The captain of the boat, David Jones, said that he plans to sell the boat and open a tourist attraction at Rye Harbor, charging $20 to see the lobster and $50 to have a picture taken with it.

Arrival of the gold lobster in Rye Harbor. (F. Stop Fitzgerald photo)

We spoke with Marianna Trench, Director of Deep Sea Studies at the University of New Hampshire, to find out how this could happen, since the largest lobster in the Guinness Book of Records is 47 pounds. Marianna got out her calculator and began muttering about mutants and the half-life of cobalt thorium-D.

Map of area where lobster is assumed to have been caught. (Google map)
A spokesperson for the NH Fish and Game Department, Donatello Nobatti, refused to comment as to whether it was legal for a trawler to catch lobsters in this way.

Speculation among the locals at the harbor is that the lobster was caught near the cooling outflow pipes at the Seabrook Nuclear Power Station (see map) and that it was a result of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission approving a switch to more powerful fuels. This area is expected to become a hot spot for both commercial and sport fishermen.

April Fool's Day, 2008