The Gods may be restless

A little volcano is a good thing

Phil Mataleven

Rendering of the volcano simmering beside the Seacoast Science Center. (Dot Snice rendering)

Wry Reflections recently obtained a confidential study that calls for creation of a small volcano at the Seacoast Science Center, to expand on the marine study programs already offered. According to the study the US Geological Survey will drill a small hole to the earth's upper mantle, carefully calibrated to release just enough magma for a small volcano. Studies by the US Army Corps of Engineers show that there is sufficient land area in Odiorne's State Park to accommodate the volcano.  

We asked Woods Hole volcanologist Jocelyn De Contents if area residents should be concerned.  She said, "The volcano will be beneficial, the occasional ash falls will bring important nutrients to both the land and sea. Of course, given the prevailing wind direction, Maine will benefit more than New Hampshire." Environmental impact studies remain to be done, however. The only person available for comment at the Seacoast Science Center was the Head of Buildings and Grounds, Moe D'Lawn, who said, "It's a win-win, good for the kids and good for me, less grass to mow." Wry Reflections staff artist, Dot Snice, created the accompanying rendering to help us imagine how the volcano might look.

April Fool's Day, 2008