Melba Toast

Toasted tidbits of Wry Reflections staff newz

Bud Inski

The scuttlebutt is that Bob and Marion Dunn have purchased the Wentworth Golf Course and will be making it a year-round resort. Little Harbor will be dredged and the waste piled up mountain high on the salt marsh side and the resulting mound used during the winter for skiing and snowboarding.

As part of the take-over of the Wentworth course, Marion will open a HUGE shopping mall with a soup kitchen at one end and gourmet restaurants at the other. This will comply with the federal government's requirement of "no adult left behind."

In the middle of the mall will be two OUTBACK Steak House franchisees, owned and run by Bill Warren, where lawyers can - come to the bar - and debate each other with long dissertations on the merits of how to wear an Australian style hat.  
Each night the winner will be awarded one and be required to wear it at all occasions and functions, both inside and out.

Further down the coast, the homes and buildings on Concord Point will be razed, and Ellen Hamil will open a HUGE gambling facility and host name blue grass and other musical groups with repertoires of limericks and chanteys of sailors of the sailing generation. It will be televised for all via the Homeland Security network mentioned in this article. Her mother Polly Morton, now aged 99, will be the featured dance hall dancer and singer.

Jack Driscoll, has been encouraged by local political and real estate development groups looking for support for their pet projects, to apply and run for the recently vacated Selectman's seat of Kelvin High. Then Jack will not just report the news, but make it as well assuring a continuance of the newsworthy articles in WR's Melba Toast.

Jim Cerny, is preparing to head up Rye's Homeland Security with "Big Brother" surveillance posts being set up thoughout the town. Jim's motto: A camera on every utility pole, a beacon on every car, each monitored via satellite. These will also be used to provide information and photographs for the citizen-journalism effort of Wry Reflections and for Jim to scan and enter this group into his database, assisting him in efficiently utilizing his idle time.

Bill Veazey
Bill has set up the Wye Reflections southern command post to check on the authenticity of the bare facts. Opinions and evaluations will be forthcoming as data is acquired. It's estimated that it may take a few more months before it is completed. Bill says, "It's tough duty, but somebody has to do it."

Al Harper is seeking an election as Public Works director, by assuring everyone with a program of  One Laptop per Citizen, OLPC. The purpose of the computer is to determine how many times this year the road in the Eel pond area will be flooded.  A regression analysis on the data acquired will be performed to see how accurate the estimates were and a full report of those where there are "HITs" will be posted.

There is some discussion over at the The Palms, Ken and Judy, as to the destination of their next trip abroad. Perhaps it's better described as an intense negotiation with strikes anticipated. There is plenty of inventory of Jenness beach sand for their shoes although the quality of it needs to be checked as there has been an unusually large number of dogs walking their masters this winter season.

Bill Drew will take over the Seacoast Division of N.H. State Parks system and personally supervise each one by walking among them, 14 miles, listening to complaints, tasting the various delicacies and observing the scenery. In doing so he will also be conducting an engineering study, using his own body, of all of the various technological innovations in use by seniors these days dealing with hearing, sight, tasting, artificial limb flexibility, along with getting to the heart of the problem using REHAB techniques.  

Norm Walker is sitting beside Ocean Boulevard with a cup, looking for donors to fund the educational program in the State of New Hampshire. Cash in addition to all sorts of barter material will be accepted. (No seaweed please.)

Jayne de Constant and Margaret Carroll have ventured into outer space in pursuit of a new recipe, something about "pie in the sky." They were given the tip by some teenagers. They have found all sorts of weeds and so called herbs growing in green houses. Having tested them and found them to be especially enlightening and exhilarating, they are now returning to earth to advise the senior population on using them to live a happier, healthier, and longer life. The herbs, organic materials and leaves that they found growing will be available for purchase.

Nicholas is signing up junior associate Hank McFarland to a “storytelling class,” the same one that Jack Driscoll advised WR cub reporter Bill Drew to attend at the MIT’s Media Lab. Apparently in these economic times he feels more of a need for Hank to come up with creative ideas to bring customers in off the street to make a purchase. What’s needed is a smooth and entertaining sales pitch. One suggestion for increased sales was for himself to dash out into the street causing traffic jams, but Nubbin wouldn't let him do it.

It's been learned via the grapevine that Judy Underwood has undertaken a worldly project. Seeing that she has photographed almost every habitat on earth, her new venture is in keeping the issue of Global Warming. She has offered her services to be sent to a NOAA satellite to photo the changing scene beneath her. When not involved with the photography, she'll be writing software specifically designed for use with Wry Reflections so Al Harper will be able to report weekly using the data being sent back to earth. Wry Reflections, first again with the NEWZ.

April Fool's Day, 2008