Responding to global cooling

Legislators act with amazing speed

Justin Tyme

The transition from global warming to global cooling caught many states by surprise, but the NH State legislature was an ice age ahead due to input from Wry citizens, who noticed polar bears frolicking in the surf at Wallis Sands Beach, and then alerted their Seacoast lawmakers.

Polar bear either playing or foraging for food at Wallis Sands Beach. (stock.xchng photo)

The connection between global cooling and the school year was immediately recognized. With pressure phone calls to key legislators about the long-standing proposal of the Winterum/Summerum School Plan, it was brought to the floor the next day, discussed and voted upon before dusk, passing without opposition. The signing of the bill, which calls for schools to remain open all summer, closing from December 15th until April 15th, will be held at Wry Town Hall.

Commenting on the special provision, Bob Dunn, Wry Reflection's, ski and golf expert, said, "It only makes sense to close for Winterum since children can't learn in school if the sky is clear and the powder is deep." Warming to the subject he further suggested, "Maybe they should close for Summerum, too. No one can learn when the sky is clear and the greens are fast."

Educators across the state have made Dunn's articles on golf and skiing in Rye Reflections required reading for graduation.

A formal reception at 4:00 p.m. will be held at the Wry Public Library following the signing.

April Fool's Day, 2008